I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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