well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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