i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
