3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
