There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Shame - the story of my life.
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