return my video game
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
