youre lurking in front of me
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
