We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
