i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
