piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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