my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude i'm inner monologue high
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
