You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
