You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize