Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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