I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
