So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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