no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
