I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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