Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
