That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize