Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
