He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
