D3 body, D1 cock
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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