ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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