I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it hurts more in the daytime
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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