Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
