If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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