If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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