i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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