Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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