I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
