Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
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IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
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I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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