I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
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Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
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I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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