You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
