Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
