I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
