Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
