and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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