I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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