If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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