True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
50% drunk capacity currently
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
