brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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