I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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