I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
