So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
