We named our party play list daddy issues
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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