Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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