Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize