just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It's blow job season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize