should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
