please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
