is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
