does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
