were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
