everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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