I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
