oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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