WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
