I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
