just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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