My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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